His Mother!
Women Write about Their Mothers-in-law with Humor, Frustration, and Love
Women Write about Their Mothers-in-law with Humor, Frustration, and Love
If you are or ever have been married, chances are you have one—or maybe even more than one. And if you’re about to be one, your hope is to be a good one.
So, what is this “one”? Actually, it’s a “who.”
This person is either “the worst person” you know (as immortalized in one of Ernie K-Doe’s classic tunes of the 60s), or a “sweet, second mother,” or, more realistically, a person somewhere between the two extremes. She is a mother-in-law.
His Mother! is not a self-help book or a how-to manual. It is a collection of real-life accounts from modern-day women representing a range of ages, religions, nationalities, education and hair color. It is a collection of writings that offers poignant, sweet, bitter, amusing, sarcastic, and joyful reminders of how complicated the woman and the relationship can be. By the turn of the last page, you may meet someone whom you already know, or perhaps someone you once knew. You might even meet someone you’d like to know or be.
For sure, there are opportunities to laugh, to cry, and maybe even do both at the same time. These stories offer all of this because well…she is after all… His Mother!
So, what is this “one”? Actually, it’s a “who.”
This person is either “the worst person” you know (as immortalized in one of Ernie K-Doe’s classic tunes of the 60s), or a “sweet, second mother,” or, more realistically, a person somewhere between the two extremes. She is a mother-in-law.
His Mother! is not a self-help book or a how-to manual. It is a collection of real-life accounts from modern-day women representing a range of ages, religions, nationalities, education and hair color. It is a collection of writings that offers poignant, sweet, bitter, amusing, sarcastic, and joyful reminders of how complicated the woman and the relationship can be. By the turn of the last page, you may meet someone whom you already know, or perhaps someone you once knew. You might even meet someone you’d like to know or be.
For sure, there are opportunities to laugh, to cry, and maybe even do both at the same time. These stories offer all of this because well…she is after all… His Mother!
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Reviews of His Mother! Women Write about Their Mothers-in-law with Humor, Frustration, and Love
A Must Read for Every Mother-in-law It is with irony that the two weeks that I spent with my two sons and their families I happened to be reading His Mother! compiled and edited by Sandy F. Richardson. It was a stunning revelation for me to realize that one of my daughters-in-law compared me to the mother-in-law (MIL) character of Marie Barone played by Doris Roberts on the hit show Everyone Loves Raymond. I thought I was passing on pearls of wisdom. But instead I evidently fall into the camp of the mothers who can find no fault with their male off-spring and think the women who caught them should be forever grateful. Sandy Richardson starts off her series of eighteen vignettes by an equal number of professional writers with a splendid introduction. She reminds us of the various names used to refer to a mother-in-law. “From birth to grave and beyond in France, no woman holds more power over a French son than his mother,” according to Barbara Pasquet James. Thus a mother-in-law is known to his wife as his belle mre. And yet the beautiful mother-in-law tongue plant (Monstera delicica of sansvieria) is poisonous and should never be touched. One entry by Kirsten Guenther tells us of her MIL addicted to Disney themes with command performances expected by all family members. Kathryn Etters Lovatt remembers an ageless Montana homesteader “who could sit at the table with a piece of toast and a home canned peach and never need to utter a word.” Susan Doherty Osteen writes a touching tribute to her Southern MIL who knows all the social rules of etiquette and never forgets a name or an interesting fact due to her extensive pocketbook of note cards. Other writers share similar memories of the culture of the South which emphasize manners, flowers on the dining room table, the three-day-rule, and no bottles or condiments anywhere but in the kitchen cabinets. Accounts of the impractical gifts that could never be used—the warm hugs that were never for you—the compliments that were never paid—are also interspersed. I am reminded of a quote by Bernie Siegel who said that on the day his father and three brother and two sisters stood around their mother’s dying bed, she uttered her last words: “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.” The book, His Mother is a tribute to both the mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law of the world and reminds all of us to do the same. Brenda Bevan Remmes, author of The Quaker Café Series available on Amazon, Everything Happens at the Crossroads and her tribute to her own mother-in-law, Emma. |
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Love her or hate her. You don’t get to choose your mother-in-law. The authors of the short stories in this book give testimony about their own experiences with their mothers-in-law (and, yes, one author had three to write about!) In doing so, they shed a little light on how good, how bad, and how all too complicated the mother/daughter by marriage relationship can be. Readers of His Mother! Are likely to laugh a little, sigh in recognition, and shed some tears as they explore these relationships. If you have your own mother-in-law experience or think you ever will, I recommend reading.
I enjoyed the book a lot but was especially pleased at how vivid the descriptions of place were and what insights they offered about cultural norms and expectations. Some of the mothers-in-law were iconic southern belles; others city dwellers. Readers will get to know a Polish immigrant whose family died at Auschwitz in Colette Inez’s “Mamaleh’s Lament” and taste the food and respect the wisdom of a southern African American welcoming a white daughter-in-law in Kathy China’s “Lessons in Miss Thelma’s Kitchen”. Two of my favorites were the western women: a Kansas barmaid who thought she married money but made the best of it when her husband lost it all in Margaret Bell’s “Family Time” and Kathryn Lovatt’s “Marion” about a tough Montana rancher who had served as a nurse in WWII. These prairie women will make you proud. So read the book; pick your favorites. And be relieved that a few of these ladies are not your own mothers-in-law. Patricia Willer,
I enjoyed the book a lot but was especially pleased at how vivid the descriptions of place were and what insights they offered about cultural norms and expectations. Some of the mothers-in-law were iconic southern belles; others city dwellers. Readers will get to know a Polish immigrant whose family died at Auschwitz in Colette Inez’s “Mamaleh’s Lament” and taste the food and respect the wisdom of a southern African American welcoming a white daughter-in-law in Kathy China’s “Lessons in Miss Thelma’s Kitchen”. Two of my favorites were the western women: a Kansas barmaid who thought she married money but made the best of it when her husband lost it all in Margaret Bell’s “Family Time” and Kathryn Lovatt’s “Marion” about a tough Montana rancher who had served as a nurse in WWII. These prairie women will make you proud. So read the book; pick your favorites. And be relieved that a few of these ladies are not your own mothers-in-law. Patricia Willer,
Yep, that's her! A mother-in-law that gives you a wig that looks like a squirrel? A mother-in-law that always finds fault? A mother-in-law that takes you under her wing and treats you more like a daughter than an enemy? They are all here along with the personal stories that bring laughter, tears, and tons of frustration. Whatever your mother-in-law was or is, you'll find her here, and you'll say, "Yep, that's her." By Dave T
Kudos! The very talented Sandy Richardson has compiled a 'Dear Diary' about Mothers-in-law, as submitted by true to life daughters-in-law that exposes the good, the bad and the ugly of these stressful marital relationships. Yep, all of us daughters-in-law can find our own personal experiences in these tender, happy, sad, and sometimes horrifying stories about the full gamut of personalities. Don't get me started on my own personal experience. There is not enough time! Kudos to Sandy and all of the contributors. By Patricia Fero, author of www.queenmotorhome.com, www.TheReunion.com